I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
