You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
