Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
