So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
