What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
