I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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