He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize