It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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