office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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