we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
