and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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