3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
