I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
