I want to have your abortion
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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