So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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