just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
