When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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