So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
