Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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