WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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