who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
