Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
