I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
