It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
