I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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