can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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