I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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