i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
