apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
