I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
