I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
