By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it because I queefed?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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