You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize