the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm too high and old for this...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
