Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
