Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
