it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
