remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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