lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
