I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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