You made me cry and you don't even care
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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