every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
