saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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