We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
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