when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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