It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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