Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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