is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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