I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize