hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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