I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
