If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
