Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
