What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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