There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize