dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize