I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
