we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
