dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
