Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
