I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
